Letting Go

I've always been sentimental. (Maybe more mental than anything...) I like to keep cards, doodles, little things my students have given me. I love pictures (though I'm terrible about keeping them in albums or frames). I still have stuffed animals from when I was young and little knickknacks I've received throughout the years. If you look through all of my stuff back in the States, you'll find things even from my elementary and middle school days. You must admit that it is really nice to look through boxes and drawers and reminisce about the days of old (or cringe- I can't believe I dated that guy!).

This may or may not be a good representation of the population of my exes.

I'm already packing to move back to the good ol' USofA. It is amazing, incredible even, how much CRAP you can accumulate in three years. When deciding what would go back with me and what I should toss/give away/sell, I found myself putting more in the take back pile than was really necessary. Do I really need these birthday cards? No, I don't. Is it important to bring that, probably expired, sunscreen with me? Absolutely not. But these are my things. These have been my things ever since I  bought them or they were given to me. And we all know that how many thing we have define us, right? Right?

You can't handle all this definition!

This past weekend, I attended a clothing swap. I was picking clothes from my closet to give away, trying them on, and then putting them back in the closet even though they were way too big. I knew I'll never wear those things again. Yet I just couldn't seem to put it in the donation bag. "I have so many memories in that cute black dress. And it's still in such good condition. I just can't give it up," thought I. Then it dawned on me: Give and you shall receive. If I were to give up all of the things I'll never wear or use again, I would open myself (and my closet) to new and exciting things. The weight of the old would be off my shoulders. (Get it?!) I will always have those memories, but I don't necessarily need things to remind me of them. At that moment I started pulling things off hangers left and right. By the time I finished, I had a huge back pack and suitcase filled with clothes and accessories that had to go. I needed them gone because I needed the freedom that comes with letting go. Since then, I've let go of a lot of things. I've let go of bad feelings. I've let go of frustration. I've let go of worries. I've let go of judgements. I've let go of friendships that weren't going where I'm headed. And once more, I've let go of eating things that make me feel good right then but make me suffer later. I even let go of some hair.

ohai

All this letting go has been really hard~ ya know, going against all that has been engrained in me for the past 25 years, but it has also been SO liberating. The best thing is I have three years of stuff paired down into two boxes and two suitcases. Now to get rid of all the STUFF that's cluttering my spare room and use that money for my future precious. (Next on my "letting go" TO-DO list is going paperless- even books!)