Seven Months Later...

I want to blog. I really do! I love writing and sharing my thoughts, but DANG! Seven months and no posts?! Let me tell YOU that things have been happening. BIG THINGS!

1. I left my old job and got a new one. Some might even say a better one.
2. I didn't start my masters degree because I have no money to do so, and- let's face it- though having a masters in TESOL is probably a good investment that will get me a good job- it's not my dream right now.
3. I was selected to be given free weight loss medical treatment at Seoul Kunghee Dodream Oriental Medical Clinic here in Korea. I have lost quite a bit of weight, gone down a size in all my clothes and feel GREAT! I have to take herbal medicine before every meal, have a meal supplement (not protein, but vitamins) for dinner instead of eating, and take herbal tablets once a day. I can only eat lean meat and vegetables + tomatoes. Some might call this a "paleo" diet. I also visit the doctor once a week for acupuncture and other physical treatments to assist in my weight loss. I'll be continuing with the paleo diet after my treatment is finished in January to keep my body in tip-top shape. This is a HUGE life change and I couldn't be happier about it!

Maybe you can't see a difference, but I can!

4. I adopted a dog. She's amazing. Her name is Pepper. Many people speculate why I named her thusly. Let me explain: While I do LOVE pepper of every kind: freshly ground pepper, not-so-freshly-ground pepper, red pepper flakes, bell peppers, adobe peppers (I think you get the point), that's not why I named her Pepper. I named her Pepper because she's spunky. And by spunky, I mean hyper. And by hyper, I mean has separation anxiety. We're working on it, but still. She's spicy in the personality sense. It's funny, because when I tell Koreans her name, they look taken-aback and ask me "like the spice?" and I say yes and then they say something about eating her and then I'm like "you're gross and mean."

Everyone needs a little more Pepper in their life.

5. I've started reading "Finding Your Own North Star" by Martha Beck. This book has changed my life and I'm not even half way through it. I was feeling empty and emotionless. I felt like my life had no purpose or goal. I wanted to do many things and had no feasible way of accomplishing them. I knew that nobody took me seriously, that I was a nobody, that people treated me second rate, and that maybe I deserved to be in the place I was in because I wasn't worth it. Despite the positive and encouraging posts I wrote earlier this year, I didn't really believe in myself or have a shred of confidence. But, things are changing. I am. I'm ridding my life of nonsense. I'm using my control issues for good not evil! All negativity and people who affect me negatively BE GONE! And THAT, my friends, is just the beginning.


So, I'm sure you can see that I've been quite busy. It's a goal of mine to update this blog more often, let's see if I can stick to it. ^_^

Anything Is Possible

Listen to those who are where you want to be, but always do it your way.  Go to college.  Go to the one that you want to go to, with the exact major you want.  But make sure it's a cheap state school.  The company you get your loans through are much less forgiving than your least favorite teacher.  Go out as much as you can and make as many connections as possible.  Work those connections, but don't ask too much!  Let go of material possessions, because they'll be gone some day anyways.  Purchase cautiously and wisely so not to waste a single euro, penny, peso, pound, won, or yen.  Travel, see whatever you've always wanted to see, or taste whatever you've always wanted to taste.  Search for that perfect someone, and when you find them, don't smother them or spend every waking moment with them or thinking about them, because bad things happen when not taken in moderation.  Live your life just like you dreamed.  You might not think it's possible now, but go ahead and give it a try.  I bet if you work hard enough, it can be done!

Determined.

"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours- it is an amazing journey- and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins."

Oh, how time changes things.  Wrinkled skin and sunken eyes.  New unions and shriveled relationships.  Fading memories and new goals for the future.  A few posts ago I spoke of planning to go back to the States.  I planned on opening my own business after a year or so of working to save money.  After a little research, reality has set in.  There are so few opportunities at home.  So little that someone with my educational background and work history could actually thrive doing.  My goal was to open my own business so I can travel wherever I want, whenever I wanted, because I'm my own boss.  Or, I could get a job where I travel everywhere.  But guess what... I have a job where I can travel anywhere.  Just not at the frequency of which I'd like to travel, haha!  I teach at an English academy in South Korea... literally just a few hundred dollars away from most other Asian countries.  Also, I really like my job, except that I don't feel like I'm actually teaching.  The younger kids just say naughty things in Korean and have very little attention spans and absolutely no desire to learn English.  But, my older middle school and high school aged kids are AWESOME!  I don't feel like my work day really starts until the very end, when my middle school kids come in.  They are full of questions and hilarious comments.  I get along with them so well.  And the older they are, the more fun I  have in class- at work.  Fun?  Work?  Same sentence?  Yes.  This is only one of many reasons why I've decided to go back to school to earn my Masters of Education degree in TESOL.  My goal is to work while I earn my degree.  I hope that with this new addition to my resume, I can get a job at a University here in Korea.  This will be a dream come true!  I could actually teach.  I could travel a lot.  I could enrich my life, and hopefully others', by being a professor at a University. This degree could also ensure me job security.  English is the global business language.  Everyone is learning English not only for business but to enrich their resumes, and their lives.  I could probably get a job anywhere in the world.  I wanted to go home because I miss my family.  I'm missing my little sisters growing up and achieving their goals and living their lives.  I'm missing my parents growing older and doing new exciting things with their lives.  I want to be a part of that, but pictures, videos and stories will have to do.  They will just have to come visit me here.  :3  I need to live my life for me. This is my life.  I can fulfill all my dreams.  I can do anything I put my mind to.  I will do everything I've dreamed of and be all I've ever wanted to be. The only person who can say I can't do it is me.

LUSH in Seoul

I'm a LUSHie...  I can't help myself.  I love good smelling things, and those stores are full of them!  If I had majored in Chemistry, I might try for a job at their probably lovely smelling creation factory.  There is a LUSH store here in Seoul, which I spent a pretty won at during the holiday weekend.  It all started with a huge Christmas package in the mail from my family who gifted a large box full of LUSHy goodness inside.  After getting a whiff of those tempting scents, I followed my nose to the nearest store for a look around.  The store is quite small but they have the walls and tables covered with soaps and creams and bars and sprays.  The staff have been trained VERY well and know their LUSH!  My favorite staff member is "Chick"  That's his English name at least, haha.  I visited the store more times than I want to admit during my 6 day holiday and spent more than I should have.

I made a new friend on the metro here who told me there are at least 2 other LUSH stores she knows of at various metro stops around Seoul.  What luck that I could make such a knowledgeable friend!  I hope to meet up with her again soon and discover these delightfully scented hidden treasure stores.  Maybe they have different products on their shelves than the one in Hongdae?

During my various trips to LUSH, I picked up a few things.  I'll review those here, as well as the gifts my family sent!

This, my dear readers, is the sandstone.  It is citrusy fresh and has serious sand scrubbing powers!  I have very sensitive skin and this doesn't irritate it one bit (like other exfoliating soaps).  I use it when I'm feeling rough around the edges and it leaves me feeling slick and smooth.

This is Karma <3  Karma is a signature scent of LUSH and for a very good reason too!  It brings out the tree hugging sun shiny hippy in me.  I feel like going outside and running bare foot through the grass (if Korea had grass, that is!).  It has a wonderful lather too!

Glogg is a holiday limited edition liquid soap.  I picked it up and gave it a try.  It smells like sugar and spice and everything nice.  Seriously!  I don't know how else to describe it.  It's like a drink you'd have on a warm winters night to warm your very soul.

The Olive Branch is a very inviting and soothing liquid soap that is warm and wraps you in its silky scents.

A massage bar tin full of...

Something.  What this is, I do not know.  It looks like a shampoo bar, but it busted up in the mail like this. I rubbed a bit on my arm in the shower.  It was super rough at first but left my skin feeling like an oiled wrestler ready to shine in the spotlight, but without looking or feeling greasy.  Anybody have any ideas as to what this is?

Ultra Bland is a make up remover that ROCKS!  On nights when I wear extra thick and heavy eye make up, this does the trick and whisks it right off my face.  It makes your skin feel really really surprisingly soft after using it.

This Two's a Pair  bar smells divine!  It's super citrusy!

Sea Vegetable soap!

Up You Gets smells like sunshine and lemons!

Karma Komba shampoo bar smells just like Karma soap.  And it's specially formulated for fine tangly hair like mine!  Whoopee! 

Breath of God was given to me by Chick as a free gift because I had spent so much time and money there.  When I sniffed it at the store, I thought it was REPULSIVE.  Then I got home and thought, well, I'll just try a little spritz and see how it smells on me.  Dear baby Jesus-- (pun totally intended) it smells GOOD.  It smells like wood and camping and ... home.  I don't want to smell like a tree, and honestly I've never been camping, but it just makes me feel warm and comfortable.  Don't sniff it-- try it!  And it definitely stays with you allllll day.

I purchased the Karma perfume because I love the scent so much!

Pow Wow is another limited edition product I picked up.  It's a lip scrub that has...wait for it....POP ROCKS as the scrubby part!  Seriously!  Pop rocks!  It tastes sweet like candy and the pop rocks pop in your mouth!  It is a little messy-- but totally worth it.

I will be making another trip back to LUSH this month to buy things they didn't have in stock or I didn't have the money for at that time, so look out for more reviews!

Furry Friday

A responsible couple took in a blind kitty and raised it well.  They found out he likes to play with hair dryers in the process!

It makes me so giggly! <3  Lovin this Oskar!

Meat is Neat!

I'd like to jump on the bandwagon of big girls being beautiful.  I am a (very) big girl, and though I'm not comfortable with the weight I'm sporting right now, I know I'm beautiful and attractive to many people.  I don't desire to be very thin.  I want to be healthy!  I don't mind having cheechos or rolls (just not as protruding as mine are at the moment.)  Big girls are so luscious and voluptuous-- you just can't go wrong!

I love to dance.  I like watching youtube videos of people dancing-- ball room dancing, acrobatic dancing, booty dancing, belly dancing, etc...  Yesterday I came across a big girl belly dancing and was amazed!  She is so beautiful and knows how to get it!  Have a look...

Are you not impressed? My goal is to move like that and show off what a curvy girl is capable of! 

All Grown Up?

When you move out of your parents house?  When you have children?  When you pay your own bills? When should you feel "grown up"?  When do you actually grow up?  What makes you feel grown up?  I consider myself pretty self efficient.  I moved out of my parents house at 18 and haven't looked back, figuratively of course.  I now live in South Korea and still feel like a child.  There are still times when I wish my mom or dad was here, or I could eat mom's cooking and hear my dad's laugh in person--even one of his stupid jokes!  (Love you daddy <3 )  Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and wake up in the back of the truck, my dad driving us home and everyone quiet and content. Just listening to everyone breathing.  Does that mean I'm still a child?  Or does that mean I'm just feeling nostalgic?  My mom still sends me care packages and gifts.  She scolds me like she did when I was younger when I do stupid stuff (like when I was younger), but laughs when I drunk dial her and tells me all the funny things I said that I don't remember the next time we chat.  Does that mean I'm still a child?  I'm planning on moving back to the states soon and moving in with my parents seems like such a repulsive idea.  Not that I don't love them and care for them and want to spend time with them, but I just couldn't experience that again--I'm even willing and able to pay my own bills, haha.  Does that mean I'm grown up?

I have friends.  (I know, GASP!)  We hang out or chat on occasion and some of the things that come out of their mouths, or the things they do really baffle me.  At this age, seriously?  Come on!  When I was in high school, I thought all that drama and petty childness would go away.  Then I went to college and thought, "Oh, I suppose it's just a school thing."  Moving to the other side of the world, I've learned that, indeed it doesn't end with school.  Nor is this "condition" unique to Americans.  Responsibility, coherence, integrity, maturity, and all things "adult-y" do not just happen when you get older.  I'm sad to report age actually bears no weight on whether a person is grown up or not.  Age comes with more opportunities and even advantages, but some people just can't handle it.  What does this all mean?  Certainly the way a person is raised should be a factor.  Some who are raised badly, turn out to be just like their parents... but some of those beaten and neglected children find inspiration in their lives and become amazing adults.  And others just the opposite.  Good parents, good kids...or really horrible citizens of this Earth.  Some seem to be falling apart at the seams-- can never get anything right or catch a break.  Others seem like they have their lives together and can handle any problem like it ain't no thang-- or at least have a witty come back.  A parenting and "release" of said child can't be that serious of a factor of a child growing into a productive adult given these trends.  What makes a person suited for living life on their own without the desire to have that comfort of a childhood "home," whatever that may be?  How to face fears on their own?  Why is there the need to have a familiar crutch when failing?  How does one go about feeling and or being grown up?

I feel like this should be a few different posts, since I've mashed a few things together here, but it seems coherent enough at the moment, haha!

Thoughts?  Comments?  Please?

Furry Friday!

Everyone loves a cutie cat video...

Tell me you can't resist d'awwwing at this!

I can't wait to adopt an animal of my own.  :3

Happy Lunar New Year!

Our world is changing rapidly.  Some people are closing their eyes and covering their ears and hoping it will end soon. Others are taking charge of their lives because how our parents and grandparents got along in this world and prospered is no longer feasible.  There's social and political upheaval everywhere.  Governments are changing and people are wondering what the future will bring.  Communism in the US?  Legalized same sex marriage and marijuana?  It's 2012:  the year of the dragon.  A fierce creature of legend. Will this year be fierce?  Will it be one that goes down in history as an awesome legend of triumph?  I hope so.

My year of the dragon has started off with a bang, literally.  It's below freezing here in Seoul, South Korea.  And windy as hell.  Many of those who reside in my apartment building have frozen pipes.  The mechanic is whizzing around thawing everyones apartments, except mine.  No, my whole boiler imploded.  I have water, thank God, but not hot water.  I've been boiling water to bathe for the past 3 days (and have every other week when my boiler starts actin' a fool).  I start my days like this:

Year of the dragon, can you start being awesome and not suck?